Eugene J.R. Lombardo LCSWR
Counseling & Psychotherapy for Individuals & Couples
in White Plains NY ~ 914. 378.3248
Relief is real.
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914. 378. 3248
Relationships. Nothing is more important to the human animal than relationships, as we are in fact social beings. Those that are between couples; be it dating, marriage or significant others can bring out the best and worst in us. They can bring the greatest joy, connection and vulnerability in us as well as the deepest sadness, regret and fiery rage, often all at the same time. Healthy relationships require real connection in which each partner is an equal. We are able to be ourselves without adjusting our values, beliefs or behaviors to please the other or maintain the relationship. These relationships require work and attention. Like the garden, only diligence brings beautiful flowers, inattention or stagnation allows weeds to grow. I can help you unravel this mystery while building upon the assets and working towards resolving the liabilities -- tend your garden, so to speak.
We all come to relationships with unique life experiences, perspectives, expectations, values, beliefs and DNA. Understanding how all of these affect our sense of self and in turn how we operate within a relationship is one part of the work I often do with couples. Equally, if not more important, is working through the ways in which they affect your daily life. Therefore I often make suggestions and provide feedback on various coping skills such as communication skills, conflict resolution skills, intimacy skills (on all levels; emotional, intellectual and sexual), healthy boundaries, healthy assertiveness (asking for what you need) and overall making choices and living life in a manner that is supportive of your relationship rather then undermining it.
I can tell you with certainty, that the majority of the couples I have worked with have much more going for them than not, are much less "screwed up" or hopeless than they fear and experience many of the same types of issues. It is for this reason that I have developed a series of tip sheets or handouts that I provide for use in therapy and as helpful reminders or guidelines at home. (Don’t worry, these are not meant as "homework"' exactly, I am not interested in seeing how good of a "student"' of therapy you are). Some of these may be provided here on my website and I will happily provide others to you upon request. Contrary to the common myth, at least in my experience, most relationships have not dissolved over the course of couples therapy, only grown.
Of course there are times in which relationships face crisis either from within or without. I work with couples facing issues such as infidelity, financial misdeeds, unemployment, catastrophic illness, grief, involuntary change in employment or living situation, involvement with the criminal justice system and trauma. These problems happen to "regular" nice people like you and I and if you haven’t been directly or indirectly touched by circumstances such as these, consider yourself lucky.
Although I often use my own tip sheets and handouts developed in response to common themes I have encountered in my work with couples, my work is also informed by the tools and theories of several different relationship researches, an example of which is the work of John Gottman and his seminal book Why Marriages Succeed Or Fail. I do not utilize any theory that does not have practical applications in our daily lives and I avoid fanatical practices of all kinds in both my personal and professional life, preferring to live and work by the dictum of Progress not Perfection.
For more information about my work with couples or to discuss issues specific to you please do not hesitate to contact me. I look forward to speaking with you.